It Tapped On My Window
By Jack Colman
As slumber began to softly take its hold,
my brain suddenly alert, thoughts began to unfold.
A dreary existence my life had become,
seemingly always stuck searching for “the one”.
If my synapses did not fire such terrible thoughts
perhaps I could stop these emotional contorts.
And why now?
Why now as I teeter unconscious?
And why not?
Why not just let me be unconscious?
For when I pass out it does not wander
All these silly little thoughts on which I do ponder
It’s not that I wish not to be I assure
But rather a wish to be something more
A spiral my thoughts they go down they do
When I think of what I am, what I have become, what I am doing without you.
Not that you were everything I needed
But you were the rock that kept my thoughts heeded
They now seem to develop from a dark place below.
Then suddenly a tap, a tap at my window.
At this ungodly hour, what ever could it be?
At this ungodly hour exactly eleven twenty-three.
What the devil could it be? all I need is a glance
What the devil could it be? I would have to take a chance.
With my spiral stunted and curiosity peaked
I slumped out of bed, slowly I creeped
Upon the sheer curtains shadows did dance
I collected myself “its most likely just a branch”
The wind outside has been blowing gale
Most likely a branch upon my window it did sail
I alone inched toward the curtain
Dread suddenly kicked in, a feeling most uncertain.
What if it was a stranger, how strange that would be
A clear and present danger just beyond my sight to see
Do I retreat to the safety of my sheets? like a child with a monster beneath?
Or do I stand tall and grit my lightly yellowed teeth
My hand hovered close to the fabric translucent
Outside, nothing, not even the shadows had movement
With bravery built I reached out at last
But withdrew suddenly with another tap on the glass.
I stumbled backwards, fear struck my heart cold.
Arms stretched out flailing, needing something to hold
No such support graced my graceful flailing hand
My legs buckled beneath, no longer wishing to stand
With a crash and a boom my fall shook the room
As the shadow outside began its menacing loom
It slithered and slinked along the carpet so near
‘The feeling of death entwined with fear’
It tickled at first, but the heat began rising
As my leg was blackened and my body perspiring
Constricted and Contorted my body began shaking
Every fiber of being was suddenly aching
I felt my thoughts no longer my own
I suddenly felt like a stranger in my home
I felt it’s touch, it staked its claim,
some shape within my eternal flame
And before I knew… it and I were the same.
So now all I do is I tap, tap, tap
While you sleep soundly or you nap
If I’m at your window, RUN
For you surely know its a trap, trap, trap…
By Jack Colman
Author’s Note:
“To whomever has taken the time to read this, thank you so much. It came from a time in my life filled with a lot of uncertainty and questions I had about my past and future. I was deep in thought during the wee hours of the morning when something did tap on my window…
The existential thinking transformed into creativity and I wrote up to the second knock that night. I had yet to work out what was on the other side of that window pane. It wasn’t until about three years later that I settled on what was lurking outside. At first it was a bird, then a bat and finally a demon from hell. I settled on the shadow as it allows the audience to ponder on their own late night thoughts and the ideas you don’t let in until those quiet morning hours. Thoughts, like the shadow, can hang on the periphery of your mind and with a simple tap tap tap, it all comes flooding in.
Fun fact: two days before writing this I had written a rhyming children’s book. Chalk and cheese.”